Advent 1 – Waiting in Ignorance (based on a sermon given at St. Thomas, Weston)
In My Beginning is My End
The famous
poem, “East Coker” written in the early years of the Second World War by the
great poet laureate, TS Eliot, contains a stanza most fitting for our service
today:
Do not let me hear
Of the wisdom of old men, but rather of their folly,
Their fear of fear and frenzy, their fear of possession,
Of belonging to another, or to others, or to God.
The only wisdom we can hope to acquire
Is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless.
We enter the season of Advent, the beginning of
the Christian Calendar, in the midst of a pandemic that is raging out of
control. Over 1.4 million people have died already of this disease, 12 thousand
of those deaths have been Canadians and over 250 of those are here in Manitoba.
Large numbers of deaths are hard to comprehend, rather than tragedies we
experience them as statistics. But 250 dead Manitobans is as if my entire hometown
had been wiped off the map this year. That is a lot of pain, a lot of grief,
and a lot of people who have had to bear that suffering alone for the sake of
the safety of others.
Today is the first day of Advent, and as I
noted, it is the beginning of the Christian year. Some of you may only know
Advent as the time when you get little chocolates from an Advent Calendar (which
I hasten to emphasize, there is absolutely no shame in!). Often, churches engage in a practice of
lighting candles and hearing reflections on Love, Joy, Peace, and Hope, which
is a powerful ritual of welcoming these gifts of the spirit into the life of
the church as we await the great gift of the Christ child. But today I want to
turn our attention to a more ancient advent tradition. As Eliot goes on to say
in the poem I opened with, “in my beginning is my end” and it is that insight,
that endings and beginnings are always tied together, that the ancient Church
intuited when it developed its tradition of observing the Four Last things
during this liturgical season.
The Four Last things of Adventide are Death,
Judgement, Heaven and Hell. Therefore it is fitting that the beginning of our
Advent season, a season in which we wait for new beginnings in the anticipation
of the birth of the Lord of Life, is the time when we take a moment to reflect
on the first of the Four Last Things… Death. Death is hard to talk about, and
it is harder still when we are surrounded by so much of it. At the best of
times, death is ubiquitous, but during a pandemic, we are daily bombarded by
images and reports of death. There is an irrationality to it, we try to say
something, but ultimately we find that we are left, as Eliot says, “with the
intolerable wrestle with words and meanings.” There is a reason we talk about
the silence of the grave, it is not that the dead do not speak, for indeed
their voices cry out to us loudly. The silence of the grave is primarily that
we are reduced to an inarticulate silence in the face of the horror of death.
The Faith and the Love and
Hope are all in the Waiting
Returning
to Eliot:
I said to
my soul, be still, and wait without hope
For hope
would be hope for the wrong thing; wait without love,
For love
would be love of the wrong thing; there is yet faith
But the
faith and the love and the hope are all in the waiting.
Wait
without thought, for you are not ready for thought:
In order to arrive at what you do not know
You must go by a way which is the way of ignorance.
Advent
is a season of waiting. The lectionary readings for Advent 1 reference waiting
on the day of the Lord’s coming. Isaiah anticipates quaking mountains, burning
brushwood and boiling waters. Mark warns that neither angels nor humans know
when the day will come, but advises us, much like the 10 virgins from a couple
weeks ago, to remain awake and vigilant.
I remember an
occasion in seminary where we were talking about how Christians deal with
suffering, and one overly zealous student asked, “So, the church seems to always
grow historically when it suffers, do you think we should start praying for
more suffering?” Heads started to nod around the class from the other students,
but at that moment, the professor interjected with a loud, “NO! We do not pray
that suffering will come. Suffering always comes, we do not need to be busying
ourselves with asking God for more of it. The question is, how are we going to
respond to it when it does come?” I should say, this was not some
pie-in-the-sky academic talking, but a man who had known more than his fair
share of struggles, and had, in his work as a pastor, walked alongside the
sufferings of many of his parishioners. He knew that when it comes to
suffering, we do not know what we are talking about, and that it is sometimes for
the best that what cannot be spoken should be passed over in silence (cf. Wittgenstein,
Tractatus, 23). I have reflected a lot on that exchange over the years, and
especially this year during the pandemic. Nobody prayed for this to come, but
we were warned that things like this would come before the end.
The Day of the
Lord, Mark’s gospel tells us, is a hidden event because it is the arrival of the
One who is the Hidden One. The Lutheran theologian, Robert Jenson, once
remarked, that God is “Whoever raised Jesus from the dead having first raised
Israel from Egypt.” If you listen carefully to that formulation, you realize
that the operative word is “Whoever.” God is precisely not named or identified
in any way that might make us think that we have figured God out. God is the
great I Am who I Am, or I will Be who I will Be. “Whoever” names a God that
makes Godself known in salvific acts for us but is not known as a
someone that we’ve “figured out.” Thus, Mark’s warning to stay awake. Who can
know the time or date of this God’s coming? The Magi, those great learned men
of the east, they watched the heavens for signs and were prepared for the
coming of the Lord when none of the great men of Israel were, but even they
were caught unawares by the manner of Christ’s coming. Who brings those kinds
of gifts to a boy in a feed trough?
So, in Advent, we
learn to accept a posture of waiting and wrestling. Death and suffering may
surround us, but the day of the Lord is not yet here. We might scream our
questions of WHY, WHO, WHAT, WHERE and WHEN to the heavens, but God, in God’s
gracious mercy will not become the Object of our questioning, for God always
wills to meet us as the Subject who is for us. And so we wait.
Into a deeper communion
We begin this time
of waiting by attending to our ends. But in so doing, we discover that there
are limits to the powers of our humanity. Our inarticulacy in the face of
death, our inability to know when, or where, or how the end will come all
reinforce the fundamental fact of our existence that we are not gods. Humans
occupy a sort of middle space in the cosmos. We have great power to transform
the world around us, for good and for evil. We can work for the good of our
city, and we can be the very source of the ills of that city. But our middling
view also means that our existence has some very real limits. I have repeatedly
quoted Eliot’s admonishment to wait without faith or hope or love, not because these
things are bad, but because it is our lot not to know how to direct these
gifts.
This, finally, is the grace of Adventide.
Advent is a time to wait, to wait without hope, faith, or love, because they
would ultimately be for the wrong things. But in the waiting, in the watching,
in the careful attentiveness to fig leaves and the movements of stars, we
discover that in fact there is a more excellent gift of faith and hope
and love to be had. In advent, we enter into the way of ignorance, for of
ourselves, we cannot know God. We cannot know God, but our God is the God who
wills to be known. Our God is the God Who Will Be Who He Will Be. In taking
time to wait, to accept the way of ignorance, we can make room for that great
“Whoever” to make itself known to us. And at the end of all our waiting, we
discover that the God who is for us, is the God who makes such an
intimate communion possible that he becomes Emmanuel. O come, O come Emmanuel,
we sing as we wait, in anticipation of the time when we might rejoice in the
right use of all the hope and faith and love that we store up in this time
between times. O come thou Rod of Jesse, and give us victory over that silent
grave. O come, Key of David, close the path to misery, that finally at the end
of all our waiting and striving we find that indeed, God is with us.
Amen.
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